I listened to K-Love yesterday on the way home from work. They had an excerpt from Louie Giglio's book, Waiting Here For You: An Advent Journey of Hope: "Jesus doesn't just give you what you need. Jesus is what you need. Your heart was created by Him and for Him. You can fight and claw to gain the world, but without Jesus you will never be completely satisfied. Jesus is enough for you ... and he is here."
I realize that since I have come back to the States, I have been fighting and clawing to gain the world and I am unhappy and, to some extent, hopeless. I lost something of myself when I came back and have been looking in lots of places for it. But God, like Hosea, has been leading me, like Gomer, into the wilderness to reconnect with Him. I didn't lose a part of me; I lost a part of Him and searching for something to fill that void (food, recognition, job, meaning) is not working. It's not someTHING I need; it's Jesus.
A friend asked me about this move if I was happy and I am not sure I completely lied, there are days when I am happy. I think she should of asked if I had joy-there's no way to lie about that. I've become so busy not eating food, eating food, planning lessons, grading papers, writing papers, trying to be a good daughter, sister, teacher, employee that I've missed my truest self-a beloved child of God. If I really had my life grounded in Christ, He would be my joy.
I pray that I can slow down, shut out the voices calling me to keep busy, and really focus on the gifts Christ has given me this Christmas season: grace, acceptance, and love. Then, I can do what He has called me to do: give grace, acceptance, and love to others that He places in my path.
Wishing you all a blessed Christmas season.
Frohe Weihnachten! Craciun Fericit!
Feliz Navidad! Joyeux Noel! Merry Christmas!
Love you bunches!
Laura