First and foremost, I'm on a journey seeking God and His will for my life. This journey is a little harder than some of the others. I have to actively seek out that path; listening to God's still small voice as He guides me. Sometimes (not often, I'm sad to say), it's a smooth path and I know right where I should be going. Other times it's a bit dark and I lose my way. I'm groping and searching and listening for the whisper that says, "Come to me." Despite the hardships, it's a good journey and full of gifts of grace, love, and amazement.
I have a journey as a daughter...and I love that journey. I have the best parents. They aren't perfect, but they love my brother, my sister-in-law, my nepot (their grandson), my sister, and I. This journey gets a little lonesome as I am several hours away from any of them. But, it, too, is a good journey.
I have my journey on the job, which has lots of little paths I have to travel...prepare students for life (and, um, the Kansas State Reading assessment), make sure our limited English speakers are getting the help they need, guiding new teachers, and leading the team of teachers I work with. This journey is a little more treacherous, as I seem to be the guide...and anyone who has been in leadership, it's not easy. Wrangling eighth graders is like wrangling a herd of turtles...on crack!
I'm on a journey to learn Romanian...and fortunately I have lots of teachers! This journey, I fear, will have no end. I will still be learning it as I praise God in heaven...it really is that hard...Hopefully, this journey will involve more journeys to Romania where I can practice what I learn in context...
I have a journey towards losing weight...and that is the journey that reeks...stinks...emits a foul odor (I did just get back from boot camp...). I want to give up so many times. It's hard. It's uphill all the way, a million miles there and back, carrying my siblings, in the snow, with spoon as my only shovel...ok, so maybe it's not that bad...but it's bad. I want it to be easy, or at least easier. It's been 15 months of working my butt off, literally, and I am still 100 pounds from a goal weight. You would think losing 100 pounds would be motivation enough to keep going...but I grew up in the USA in the 1980's and 1990's. I was brainwashed with the great philosophers of our time: Garfield: Life is uncertain. Eat dessert first. Burger King: Have it your way. Klondike: What would you do for a Klondike bar? McDonald's: You deserve a break today...and the list goes on.
Living in Alaska gave me an obsession with the Iditarod Trail...Over one thousand miles of snow and ice covered terrain...one man (or woman), a sled, and lots of dogs...and Alaska in March. What does this have to do with my stinky journey...just this: The scenery doesn't change if you aren't the lead dog. If you're one of the others, you get to LOOK at (and smell, believe me, SMELL) the behind of the dog in front of you...FOR A THOUSAND MILES...Nice imagery, huh?
However, as I ponder this thought, I ask myself why? Why on earth would anyone run that race? And then I recall a story I read. It's in a book called Winterdance: The Fine Madness of Running the Iditarod by Gary Paulsen. In there, he talks about why the dogs run...and his answer is amazingly simple: because they love it.
And, so, I continue this journey with a little less "stank" in my soul...I pause and reflect on where I have been, where I am, and where I am going. The weight loss battle is a battle for more than just pounds or inches lost. This battle is about my soul. I am on this journey because I love Him. It's about my love for Him being bigger than my fear, insecurity, or unworthiness. So, I will get back up and run this race...I will run this race because I love the fact that He marked this race just FOR ME.
"Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us." Hebrews 12:1